THE QUESTION:  MY FIANCÉ AND I ARE NATURALISTS. WOULD YOU BE OK HOSTING A SMALL, PRIVATE NUDIST WEDDING CEREMONY?

MOUNTAIN 1, MI

First contact: Automated machine. Chose operator.

Answering phone: Female.  

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: OK. Let me transfer you to the person who handles the weddings.

Answering phone: Female.

SAM: Restated question.

Staff: That is a very great question! Um, you know, I’ve never had that question before. That would be something I would have to inquire about to my manager. Are you looking for just a ceremony or also a reception?

SAM: Just the ceremony.

Staff: OK. Well, typically we don’t do just ceremonies, so that may answer your question. Our spaces we have are for both the ceremony and reception.

SAM: OK. I assume that other guests see those reception areas? Would it be better to be clothed during the reception?

Staff: My best recommendation would be yes, to be clothed during the reception. I think that would be one of our policies inside our buildings here is to be clothed. Do you mind sharing your phone number?

[Gave cell number]

Staff: Perfect.

SAM: Yeah, we’re just doing some preliminary research.

Staff: Yeah, I mean, I’ve never had that question, but if you are looking for just a ceremony, we really don’t just do ceremonies here. As far as your request for being a complete naturalist, I would assume, and pretty sure I’m positive on this, that you would need to be clothed for the reception and possibly for the ceremony because we are a family resort so I don’t think we would allow that.

SAM: OK. No problem. Thanks!

Rating: 7

Comment: Saying no is OK. Having patience and asking me more questions always makes for a better experience.

MOUNTAIN 2, CO

First contact: Automated machine. Chose operator.

Answering phone: Male.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Oh, OK! Fantastic! I would definitely give it a thumbs up. I would have to transfer you to my group sales, hold on one minute.

SAM: Sure thing. Thanks.

Transferred, left a message with cell number. Still no call back.  :(

Rating: 5

Comment: Operator had a heck of a great attitude, but never leave a customer hanging!

MOUNTAIN 3, ME

First contact:  Automated machine. Chose operator.

Answering phone: Male.  

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Well, um, I’m just a switchboard operator so I don’t have any answers to that one, but hold for one moment and let me see if there’s anyone in the office and I can transfer you. One second… I’m going to connect you up to our wedding and sales manager and she can get you the answer, specifically. Just one moment… Transferred…

Answering phone: Female.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Oh! Hmm. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (wow, thanks for laughing)

SAM: Yeah. I’m sure you weren’t expecting that question.

Staff: I was not. HAHAHAHAHA. OK, I’m going to gather myself. I’m usually pretty good at coming up with answers and you have stopped me in my tracks! OK! Can I have your name?

SAM: Kate. And it would be a very small ceremony. Very private. I don’t have any details yet. I’m just trying to call around to different venues to see if you can accommodate it.

Staff: Gosh. I don’t even know how to answer the question. I mean, I know it’s a yes or no question, but umm. Let me ask you, how many people are you thinking?

SAM: Probably 20 to 25.

Staff: Hmmm. I’m thinking. Ha ha! I’m just thinking about the resort and where you can have the privacy you need.

SAM: Sure, thanks. We know.

Staff: Well, it wouldn’t be the first time there were nude people in our base area!

SAM: Ha ha!

Staff: Ha ha! So let me … not that I don’t want to give you an answer, because my brain is just thinking of where on the mountain would work and where we could tuck you. But just let me talk to my sales manager, um, to see about her feeling on it. And then I would absolutely give you a call back.

SAM: Great, thanks.

Staff: I just think it’s so interesting! What’s a good number to reach you at? [Gave cell number]

Staff: Thanks. Ha ha! I’m just like, “challenge accepted!” Let me just run it by our sales manager and see what she has to say. I mean, OMG, it’s a huge mountain and there are plenty of areas to go and do your thing. Let me just run it by her.

SAM: No problem, thanks again!

Rating: 5

Comment: She gets a 10 for the enthusiastic, supportive attitude. Really, A+. But minus 5 for laughing in my face. That makes no

customer feel loved.

MOUNTAIN 4, NH

First contact: Female.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Um, if I can put you on hold for just a second I’ll find the person that can answer that for you. Holding…

Staff: Hi, thank you for holding. Um, if I can get your name and phone number we’re going to do some research and get an answer for you.

[Gave name and cell number]

SAM: And really I’m just trying to find out if you would allow it at all. I don’t have any details or a date set yet.

Staff: Yup. Like I said we’re just going to have to talk around and find an answer for you. It’s just something we haven’t had asked before.

Rating: 5

Comment: Extra research is always better than guessing. And calling a customer back is always better than not. Speaking of which, still waiting on that call back … 

MOUNTAIN 5, BC

First contact: Automated machine. Chose group sales.

Answering phone: Female.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Hmmm. That’s a question I would have to ask the manager. Silence…

SAM: OK. Well, I’m just trying to get some basic details, just in terms if you think it’s a possibility at all.

Staff: I’m going to say probably, um, ummm, not. Silence…  

SAM: OK, no problem.

Staff: I just feel like it’s something they wouldn’t feel comfortable doing. Silence…

SAM: OK then, no worries.

Staff: Sure. Have a great day.

Rating: 2

Comment: Two points for answering the phone.

Zero points for leaving your personality at home.

MOUNTAIN 6, VT

First contact: Automated machine. Chose weddings and sales.

Answering phone: Male.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Umm, that’s fun! Let’s see…

SAM: Yeah, and we understand it could make some guests uncomfortable, so we’re happy to be somewhere secluded on the mountain. We just love the mountains and would love to have our ceremony somewhere like your resort.

Staff: OK, yeah sure. So you know we don’t really do weddings here all the time. It kind of depends when you want to get married. Like, we can accommodate smaller weddings that aren’t in the summer or winter. So, like, most people want to get married in June, July, and August, but that’s tough for us because the areas we have that can host a typical wedding are areas that we use for our summer activities. In the, um, the fall and spring, like, how many people?

SAM: Small, maybe 20 people.  

Staff: OK, so pretty small. And do you have a date yet?

SAM: We don’t. And we’re flexible. We’re really just trying to gauge venues right now. So if your schedule works better for fall and spring we would be totally open to that.

Staff: I’m just trying to think where we could do that. Because, like, I think it’s great, I just know a lot of guests who come here might not, because you know, some people have their old-fashioned ways. And it would just be the ceremony?

SAM: Yup.

Staff: OK, I’m just trying to figure out where we could host 20 people.

SAM: Sure, thanks. And if it’s something you can’t host, no worries.

Staff: Yeah, I mean, I think it’s pretty unlikely, but I’m just trying to think of the spot. We have a huge mountain, OK, and a lot of beautiful spots, so I’m sure we can find a place, but the problem is what if it rains? You know, like, we don’t have an actual wedding facility. So then there’s the X down the road from us who could probably do it, but it could be an expensive spot for just 20 people.

SAM: OK. No problem.

Staff: You know what, one place I would maybe check is the Y Inn.

SAM: OK.

Staff: Which is beautiful and private! And people do get married there. And there’s a really nice place I went to a wedding in Y town. Are you from Vermont?

SAM: Um, not really.

Staff: OK, sure. What’s your name?

SAM: Kate. And I can check on the inn you mentioned. That sounds nice. Especially if you don’t think the resort would be the best option.

Staff: I think it would be tough because I can’t really think of where to do it unless you want to put up a tent so we can guarantee enough privacy for people who might not appreciate what’s going on.

SAM: Of course. It’s not a big deal if you can’t do it so I appreciate your honesty.

Staff: Yeah, it just might be tough. But the other place I’m thinking of is the X Inn, which is a beautiful, secluded spot. They have a little pond, and a barn, and I believe they let people camp and have some hotel rooms. And I can’t imagine they would have a problem with this at all. But just, for us, I think it would be tough. I just always get back to “what if it rains?”

SAM: Sure, of course.

Staff: But now that I’m thinking about it, why does it matter if it rains? Not like your clothes are going to get wet! Ha ha ha.

SAM: Ha ha ha, exactly.

Staff: Right?!

SAM: Well, no worries. Let me check out the other two places you mentioned.

Staff: Yeah, they are both beautiful and have great websites, too. And you know, I can check with the resort again, but I would say probably not going to happen. And the nudist part is just a small part of it. It’s hard for us to do weddings, anyways.

SAM: No problem! I’ll call the other places. Thanks again.

Rating: 10

Comment: Personable, patient, and found

other options. Nicely done, Smuggler’s Notch!

Mountain 7, NH

First contact: Female.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Um, if I can put you on hold for just a second I’ll find the person that can answer that for you.

Holding…

Staff: Hi, thank you for holding. Um, if I can get your name and phone number we’re going to do some research and get an answer for you.

[Gave name and real cell number]

SAM: And really I’m just trying to find out if you would allow it at all. I don’t have any details or a date set yet.

Staff: Yup. Like I said we’re just going to have to talk around and find an answer for you. It’s just something we haven’t had asked before.

Rating: 5

Comment: Extra research is always better than guessing. And calling a customer back is always better than not. Still waiting on that call back, though…

Mountain 8, NJ

First contact: Operator.

SAM: Stated question.

Transferred to group sales…

Answering phone: Female

SAM: Restated question.

Staff: Umm, I would have to check for you. That’s the first time I’ve been asked that, but I have no problem checking. Can I get back to you?

SAM: Of course!

Staff: Great. So what’s your name and number?

[Gave real name and real cell number]

SAM: I know it’s an odd question. It would be a very small wedding and we are happy to go somewhere secluded so we don’t bother any guests.

Staff: Sure. And when were you thinking?

SAM: Well, we don’t have a date yet and we’re flexible. I’m just trying to find a venue right now.

Staff: Of course. Well, let me talk to some others and I’ll get back to you shortly.

SAM: Thanks!

Rating: 4

Comment: Not much enthusiasm and definitely no call back. Yet, anyway.

Mountain 9, MD

First contact: Automated machine. Chose group sales and weddings.

Answering phone: Female.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: OK! Um, let me transfer you to the wedding specialist to see if we can do something like that. Just a moment…

Transferred.

Answering phone: Female.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Um, I don’t see why we couldn’t. I can definitely talk to my director about that and send you some information and get back to you…

SAM: Sure, yeah. We don’t have a date yet and are pretty open. I know you guys are busy in the summer so if it’s a fall or spring wedding that would be fine too. And I would hate to make you do more work, so if you think it could be a possibility I can talk to my fiancé and call you back with more details and see what you guys think?

Staff: Certainly. We’re definitely open to all weddings here. How many people were you thinking?

SAM: It would be small, like 20 people. And we are totally fine with being in a more secluded spot on the mountain so your other guests don’t see anything.

Staff: Sure, OK.

SAM: Yeah, we just love the mountains.

Staff: Sure, absolutely. I just have a couple more questions. Were you guys thinking of just a ceremony or also the reception?

SAM: Just the ceremony.

Staff: And would you be looking for tables and chairs, etc. or just a space?

SAM: Just the space, actually, because it will be so small.

Staff: And what’s the best phone number to reach you?

[Gave real cell number]

Staff: OK, perfect. And if it’s easier you can just give me a call back once you talk to your fiancé.

SAM: Great, I’ll do that.

Staff: Sure thing, my extension is xxx.

SAM: Awesome, thanks!

Rating: 8

Comment: She took her time to hear me out. And had a super duper attitude.

Mountain 10, PA

First contact: Female.

SAM: Stated question.

Staff: Oh that’s exciting! One second let me check.

Holding…

Staff: OK, so I asked around the office and unfortunately I don’t think it’s something we could accommodate. We just have too many guests in the summer and we’re very family oriented. I’m so sorry. I personally think it’s a really great idea, but maybe not for the families, ya know?

SAM: Of course. No problem. Thanks for finding out!

Rating: 8

Comment: Short and sweet and personable. Hey, our lifestyle isn’t for everybody.